Teachers

Roger Steve ns

Teachers are happy
All of the while
Teachers are cheery
Teachers all smile
Teachers have eyes
In the back of their heads
Teachers remember
The good things you said
Teachers are friendly
Teachers are kind
Teachers can always
See into your mind
Teachers will help
If you’re stuck with your sums
Teachers like stillness 
But not wriggle-bums
Teachers are visitors
From Outer Space
Teachers play Scrabble
But never kiss chase
Teachers like writing
Their writing is neat
Teachers are honest
Teachers don’t cheat
Teachers walk or ride bikes
(They don’t have much choice
They can’t afford cars
And they’d love a Rolls Royce)
Teachers eat salad
And stinky old cheese
Teachers have patches on jackets
And knees
Teachers are fair
Though they can give cross looks
Teachers have hobbies
And they love marking books
I want to be a teacher
When I leave school
Or else a Rock Star
Which is equally cool

Hallowe’en

Roger Stevens

 Darren’s got a pumpkin
Hollowed out a treat
He put it in the window
It scared half the street

 I wish I had a pumpkin
But I’ve not and it’s a shame
I’ve got a scary carrot
But it’s not the same

Escape Plan

Roger Stevens

 As I, Stegosaurus
stand motionless
in the museum
I am secretly planning
my escape.

 At noon
Tyrannosaurus Rex
will cause a diversion
by wheeling around the museum’s high ceilings
and diving at the curators and museum staff
while I
quietly slip out of the fire exit
and melt
into the London crowds

Please Note
(after William Carlos Williams)

Roger Stevens

Who has eaten
the plums
that were in
the fridge?

 I was
going to take them
to school
for my break

 Keep your
thieving hands off.
The bar of chocolate
is mine also.

Items in The Edward Lear Museum

Roger Stevens

 A runcible spoon and ticket (first class)
Thirty nine bottles of Ring Bo Ree
A scarlet flannel, a crockery jar
A sieve that has travelled the Western Sea
Some oblong oysters (just their shells) and the hat
Of Mr Quangle Wangle Quee
And in pride of place, in a crumbobblious case
A branch from the old Bong Tree
Some waterproof clothes, the beard and a nose
And a branch of the old Bong Tree

Finally, here are a couple of Roger's poems for grown-ups!

Sonnet Number One

Roger Steve ns

 The moon doth shine as bright as in the day
I sit upon the sea-saw wondering why
She left me. Boys and girls come out to play.
But I’m bereft. I think I’m going to cry.
I gave her chocolate and praised her skill
At skateboarding and football not to mention
Arm wrestling. As we slowly climbed the hill
To fetch some water, did I sense a tension?
She seemed pre-occupied. She hardly spoke
And as we turned the handle to the well
I asked her, Jill, please tell me it’s a joke.
She said, I’ve found another bloke. I fell,
I rolled, head over heels into the dark
Down to the bottom where I broke my heart

Gherkin Car

Roger Steve ns

 I am the Picasso of Poetry
Ear nose blue pink eye spoon
Burnt ochre
Sienna
Five walnuts
Vienna
A six-year-old child could write this
Exclamation mark
Wonky
Donkey